Downton's Decorum and Emily Post

Downton has made me aware of my serious lack of manners. In an effort to be more courteous (Seriously who would rather be the rude Thomas over the adored Anna?) I wanted to know specifically how I could better my manners. I googled etiquette books and began hitting a dead end. I found many sources saying Downton was influential on the resurfacing of better manners and that manners are essential, but few with any specifics of why and how. I headed to the library and found of copy of Emily Post’s 1926 edition of Etiquette so I could personally read the particulars.

Post’s Etiquette has many courtesies and polite practices that aren’t really used in our everyday, such as behavior and dress when attending the opera and the format of a calling card. But among Post’s roaring 20s social protocol, I found some gems for application today:

1.     In conversation, “talk about things that will be agreeable to your hearer.” (But if you must speak of something disagreeable, I highly recommend speaking to someone on an elevator so they are unable to run away.)

2.     Always smile and make eye contact when you say thank you. J

3.     The art of conversation lies not only in a witty speaker, but also in the listener’s attentiveness, agreeableness and happy engagement in the conversation. In the words of Hitch, “Listen and respond.”

4.     A man walks on the street-side of the sidewalk and stands when a lady enters the room.

5.      Most importantly, to prevent one from being sunburned, burnt-orange is the best color to wear…. How about a little foundation with SPF 15 for today’s modern woman?

Among the social do’s and do not’s in Etiquette, the most important principle I found was to make those around you feel comfortable and respected through your kindness and consideration. While this post started as a google exercise, I’ve found that this is an area I sincerely want to improve in myself. But enough of the gushing self-discovery, play nice with others is the rule of the game whether you own a British estate or are waiting in line at the grocery store.

It only feels proper to close with my favorite line from Etiquette, “Manner is personality- the outward manifestation of one’s innate character and attitude toward life.” So play nice, keep your elbows off the table while food is present, and stay gold, pony boy.